I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
