It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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