she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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