IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
