The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
