i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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