nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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