evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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