Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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