my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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