How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so let's talk penis.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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