Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
