we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
