I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
