Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
