U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
