only if we run a train.
done.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize