I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
