do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
