What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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