i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize