I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
