Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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