I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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