You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
