You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
