he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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