I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
