my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
