I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
