So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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