The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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