Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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