sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
