U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
even my farts smell like vagina
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
