i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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