I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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