Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
