I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
