What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
