her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You ruined the universe
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
