just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
