so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
