forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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