but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
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