so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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