you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
