I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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