I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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