The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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