We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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