Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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