This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize